almi: june 14, 2011—it was our 10th anniversary and a part of me somehow already felt that he was up to something. the whole time that we were together that day, i noticed that my heart would suddenly beat irregularly whenever there was even just a split second of silence when i would catch him just looking at me with dreamy eyes. i also realized i was unusually too talkative then just to avoid looking dreamily back at him, haha. i felt like we were on our first real date.
i became more suspecting when instead of parting ways after dinner as planned, he insisted on accompanying me home even though he was already running late for work. upon seeing that my roommate was already home too he reminded me that he forgot to take my outfit shot. so we went outside. i wanted to have the outfit shot taken near the stairs (because it was the only area that was well-lit then and i was also thinking it would be easier for him to leave at once for work after taking an outfit shot of me) but he insisted to go to the veranda. “it’s almost full moon,” he said.
after taking shots of me, he told me to also take a shot of him. i was happy to do it because i usually have to beg him to pose for me, heh.
i don’t know how it happened but when i aimed the camera at him, he was already down on one knee. i can’t recall all the details but one memory is clear—that moment when he opened that little box and asked me, “bebi, will you marry me?” and then my heart stopped. that moment, it hit me so hard that this boy wants to marry this girl—me. it made me realize that it is one thing to always hear him talk about marriage and his dreams of a future with me; but it is a whole other thing to be asked this way.
i approached him and i pulled him up several times but he wouldn’t stand up. and then i realized i haven’t answered so i finally said, “yes, yes, of course! yes!”
and then we hugged and for i don’t know how long, we just stood there hugging each other. and then he asked me if i wouldn’t let him put the ring on me and at first i didn’t want to give him my hand because i know i was going to cry (several months ago, he “practiced” proposing to me and i cried just seeing him kneeling before me with a ring made of table napkin at mcdo). i eventually gave him my hand and i think he whispered “akin ka na.” after putting the ring on my finger, haha.
the ring was too big for my finger but i wore it to sleep that night. in fact, i never took it off until two weeks after when i finally agreed to have it re-sized. i might have just developed the worst case of separation anxiety, haha!
thinking about that night even now, it still overwhelms me that after all these years, he still thought of giving me that heart-stopping moment of seeing the man of my dreams get down on one knee with a ring and asking me to marry him.